NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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