sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
