how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am available for nakedness
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
