The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize