I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
