I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
