These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
