wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
