It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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