Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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