i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
