Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
