You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Text me some of your sweat
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