Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
