people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize