shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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