The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize