dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
