I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
