...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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