...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
