As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I need to align my fucking chakras
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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