There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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