Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
