I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
