I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
