i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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