Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
