Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
