Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
