He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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