i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
