That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
