He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
