Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
