So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
