im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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