The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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