Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
