If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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