weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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