I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize