i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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