Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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