my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize