cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
