just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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