I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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