Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
