At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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