I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
