i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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