We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
