Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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