Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
