I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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