so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize