is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
