Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
accomplished twins. life is a go
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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