I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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