....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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