I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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