good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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