id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
