I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
