i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My vagina is officially offended.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
