erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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