i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
