you have to choose: penises or morals?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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