Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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