Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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