dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
