theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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