Your mouth is God's brothel.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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