I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Its about making memories worth repressing
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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