its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
