i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
