I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
