I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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